no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
