Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
