The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
