My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
two words: eviction party
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
