Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
