yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
