He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
