Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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