Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
