Redeem this text for a blowjob
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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