Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
