Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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