I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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