yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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