the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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