I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
