I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just want nice things and good sex
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
