Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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