Don't you send me to vm
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
