They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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