Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Only a mothe r could love this liver
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
