Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
