PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
