Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
