im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize