Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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