..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
