i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just want to make out with him forever
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
