More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I lost the right to judge tonight
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
