Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
