last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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