He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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