No stitches, just platelets and will power
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
