the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
