marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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