six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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