You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
