i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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