i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
