we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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