He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
operation harelip BJ is a go
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
