I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
