So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
grandma shit on top of the toilet
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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