Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize