I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
