I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
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I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
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I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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