So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
