if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
