i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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