He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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