the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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