he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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