I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
