so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
