Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can I color on your dick again?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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