it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
