if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize