hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
