On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
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I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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