I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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