Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
