So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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